WHO is GABRIEL LONERGAN? WHO/WHAT/WHEN/WHERE "are" the WEIRD SCENES? The world has yet to receive the answer to these, and many more, questions.
Dr. LUDOVITCH BOROVNIK of the LOWER EAST SIDE NATURAL HEALING ASSOCIATION asserts that in January of 2026, the "SURVEILANCE ENERGIES" readings were what we professionals describe as "OFF THE CHARTS".
Dr. BOROVNIK says "Ever since about mid-january, some sort of sludge has been emanating from some BRIDGE and TUNNEL SUBURB in the NEW YORK CITY AREA. We don't know what's causing it, only that everybody should panic immediately and purchase my anti-surveilance COLLOIDAL SILVER SUPPLEMENTS."
DEAR READER the EVIDENCE is CLEAR. There is only ONE MAN who could have caused this. GABRIEL LONERGAN poses a THREAT to the PEACE, HEALTH, SECURITY, and SANITY of the general public. I for one suggest he should be sent to PRISON IMMEDIATELY.
